7. 19. 14 Half Dome to Clouds Rest

I met a mom today with her 2 kids, a little older than the boys. She was on the similar spiritual, educational, character building, life experiencing trip. Heather offered inspiration, support and encouragement for all of this craziness. She also gave me some coffee :) Thanks and be well!

Boys were beat on the feet today, so we planned another 5 mi day. I aimed high from Cambridge, but the truth is (which we all suspected in planning) that these first days will make it or break it, and might be the worst. I mean worst in the best way possible though, I mean it is the best; god, so beautiful. So beautiful I can't fold, I can't not keep going. So beautiful, the boys are yelling "moooooooom, stop taking pictures!" which I continue to take, even though I know I'm foolish to think I can show you this. So beautiful, the boys can't believe it. That is saying something.

We stopped for cranberries and apricots and to write a bit at a creek, where we hung out with a few fellow hikers. We broke out our music on today's walk; testing our mini speaker, which ruled, and carried me up the trail. We looked high tech with our music and gravity filter and solar charger, and I bet we eeked a poser vibe with our gun ho attitudes. We filtered water, danced and soon carried on up through a dark forest. Forest: big, towering, fresh and charred, curved and bowing, stubby branch pegs and FACES. Faces on every mangled tree, and amphibious sci-fi creatures in every lying tree, roots up. 

Thunder.

Ok I know about this. I learned this. O god, we are on a mountain, and I am running through all my books and tutorials in my brain. We found a patch of low trees, near rocks and set up shelter. This is my first camp in the woods sans grounds and rangers..so every bad thought you can imagine is popping up. Lightning! Wind! Avalanche! Wet! But we did it; we pitched our tent. We played madlibs and told stories, until the thunder and lightening stopped. And it did. And we were ok. I was suddenly brave and cool. We packed up and began again.

That day we walked up to Sunrise and looked out over the world. We passed the time quickly with ridiculous word jokes and video game stories. Peeking over the top of the mountain the boys and I just watched the sky color the mountains. It was big enough to halt the boys' step and chatter. We were in the clouds. 

It was 7:20 and too late, so we shivered, put up the tent and ate ramen by the sunset and the mountaintops. Best day.

7. 18. 14 Happy Isle to Little Yosemite "This is insane"

After a really nice camp and play outside of Happy Isle, the boys and I woke to begin our hike. There was incredible hesitation to get started, in all of us. We toyed with going into Curry Village for one last huge breakfast, and then impatiently teetered back and forth at the Yosemite shuttle; unable to decide anything- hike? eat? go home?

It was uncomfortable.

I watch this a lot: the adjustment period. Watching it in your own children is both educational and torturous. Not knowing. It was all over me this time, and I was the leader...it feels like that lump in the heart and throat before crying. Scared.

So we went for hike. Happy Isle begins the John Muir Trail at 4000ft. We immediately ascended through the Boulder Garden, and climbed a very steep hill. We broke for a power drink and tortillas at the top and set a goal of walking for two hrs for ourselves.

The next two hours took us up almost 2000ft, with El Capitan and Half Dome always in sight. We threaded through countless switchbacks and thank god, had the most stunning and magical view ever to keep us from hating every bit of it. The packs were hard. The elevation was hard, but because everything was so crazy hard (the footing, the incline, the heat), we didn't feel it until we rested. It was hard to breathe, I decided. 

Once level with Nevada Falls, we were on top of everything. We were dead-tired, and pulled out our sleeping pads to nap right on the side of the path. Totally fell asleep on the mountain. The rest gave us energy to push on to Nevada Falls, where we were rewarded with swimming, ispy, water and sun bathing. It was a really great prize; like nothing I have ever seen. Just beyond the edge of the tall falls exploding with swooosh! crash! were my boys playing in the water. It was this lovely serene pool, where many hikers collected and just beamed in the fairy like scene.

We had another 3 miles to camp and plowed through it silently, dumped our stuff at camp and headed off for the lake. There we washed, swam and filtered water for Mac and cheese and drinks. Bed was at 7:45 for all of us. Beat. I should have brought a flask.

Reviews: our Marmot teeny sleeping bag is perfect; warm and so squishably light. The platypus water filter has been the envy of fellow hikers. We have filtered water to save the day three times already. Real fast and effective. Jetboil is small, and I should have gone for a pot. Sleeping pads are awesome, Z-Lite thermarest. I wish I could remember the name of our speaker, it ruled.. as does our sole charger Suntactics-5.

This is hard. 

From inside the tent

Kindles

7. 17. 14 California

7. 16. 14 Itinerary

Our blog may drop off depending on reception, but I will keep writing and may back post upon our return. For now, here is our plan!

SFO. Call hostels at Yosemite and Mt. Whitney to secure rooms. Create some playlists with the men. Float to an In and Out Burger. Find something special in San Francisco, eat some sourdough, buy fuel. Wander to Maria and Maggie, and play and sleep.
July 17, 5:30am head to Pier 41 where California Parlor Tours will take us up to Yosemite. Collect our Wilderness Permit and hang out in Yosemite.
July 18, we begin at Happy Isle. See the crude drawing for our day to day.

From our hiking king, Tommy, a quote:
'A  final word from Johnny Muir...“Few places in this world are more dangerous than home. Fear not, therefore, to try the mountain passes. They will kill care, save you from deadly apathy, set you free, and call forth every faculty into vigorous, enthusiastic action.” '

7. 16. 14 Goodbye Cambridge

Potential

Last night I felt a little crazy; too much to do, no time left, crazy. Fever blister from stress crazy. geeeezus. Times like these, one needs to be alone, I always thought. But when the thought circles and energy are counterproductive, then having someone there to keep the brainwaves straight is priceless. I have a person like that who keeps me straight while letting me leak the crazy out. I can hand her a roll of toilet paper and ask her to divide it into four rolls. I can ask her to make piles, or to trash garbage, or to tape boxes or to just be there, and Maggie does and is. Any judgement is kept hidden from me, and I can blob out. So with my guardian angel, I packed the bags, crossed off more on my lists and got to bed by 1:00am ( with this blog, and music playlists left on the last list). Flight United 12 leaves at 8:06am for San Francisco.

5:55am My other guardian, arrives to drive we three to the airport. Nate, nervous, excited, scared, weak from the early morning, and having not yet eaten, broke. Everything was too heavy. Max was bouncing. I was just moving, brushing teeth, turning off lights, picking up, putting down, talking, talking. Matt was smiling, filming and cheering us on, like he does. He was on board in December 100% and was on board this morning 100% - which is saying something, since Nate was crying and things must have looked dim. But Matt is unyielding support. He told us a story on the way to Logan Airport about a group of people who laugh together. I picture them bald, like Hare Krishna though I know they are probably not. These people meet and begin with a forced laugh. The theory is that the laughter turns authentic, and is then contagious. The meetings end in belly laughter. 

We check in, hug and text and tweet goodbyes and headed to gate B27. On the plane I remembered to turn in my vacation email alert:

Subject: Gone Hiking!

We Fly

7. 7. 14 The Post Office

Bucket

Organizing a pack that works like a holster is fun to do. But preparing a holster for a reality that I do not yet know, makes this not so fun. The rethinking is out of control. After meeting up with Tommy, I felt much more confident and I began to slowly categorize our pile of gear. First aid. Water and food. Clothing. Light and electronics. Tools and materials. Sleeping and tenting. All of it fell nicely into place. 

But let us address the food situation.  I had created with Tommy's guidance a loose itinerary; estimating miles per day, based on elevation and terrain. Each day had a mid goal and ambitious goal, and the map accounted for an invisible asterisk noting swim days and rest days with little to no mileage. From this schedule, I put together a food plan. Food is heavy, and I am the food carrier. The first 100+ miles offer a few stops with food, showers, resupply and post offices. The guys do not know that pancakes, burgers and eggs are a possibility, so this will be a fine surprise. Water is plentiful throughout the hike. So I think we will have an adequate adjustment period to our new life.

The second half is less inhabited. No pancakes. Many rangers. Many stars. Mailing to the Muir Ranch and then again to the Independence Post Office is necessary. The mileage is significant between the two, and the hope is that, by then, we will be relatively seasoned, and will be able to cover ground at a decent trek. Our bear canisters can hold 7-10 days of food, and will carry us between these drops, and through to the end of the hike. The back up plan is to hire a mule to drop food during this stretch. Soooo, I mailed a (required) large Carps bucket (Karps? I can't remember which it be) full of food, refuel, chocolate to the ranch. Apparently they carry these buckets by mule and open boat, so it needs to withstand weather conditions, as well as keep from attracting rodents. I met the most unfortunate post office attendant, who gave me a terrible time for mailing a bucket. She put me through the ringer until I said "Tell me what it is we need to do to make this happen. What do you need from me?" All the while, I was peering and eye-pleading that the other attendant would notice and come assist. Maybe 30 min later I got out of there and my goods were mule bound. Total contrast; the receiving post office in Independence was super nice, and offered to help us with our travel between the post office and trail. Human kindness is winning, by the way. The deeper I get into this, the more we see it.

7. 4. 14 Post before the Post

Sent from our new best hiking consultant. More on this to come..

FOR THE CHILDREN

The rising hills, the slopes,
of statistics
lie before us.
the steep climb
of everything, going up,
up, as we all
go down.

In the next century
or the one beyond that,
they say,
are valleys, pastures,
we can meet there in peace
if we make it.

To climb these coming crests
one word to you, to
you and your children:

stay together
learn the flowers
go light

--Gary Snyder

6. 29. 14 Nate Eight

Natey the 8 year old 

Today my boy turned eight years old. My love, my heart, my Nate.

Nate at 5 months old.

Nate age 3.

Nate 6. 15. 14, age seven.

Nate and Mom

6. 22. 14 Haircuts

                                     Not happy.                                                                                           Happy.

Max and Nate loved their cool mops of hair. Nate looks like a Q-tip as his bright orange hair grows, I think, but Max can pull off a shaggy look. Both had a lot LOT of hair before I made the executive decision to buzz the boys. Steven is our official buzzer, and patiently turned the boys from Yetis (Yetai?) to poodles. Max was sad at first to lose his hair, but eventually admitted that he liked his fuzzy head. This confession followed a good amount of sulking. Well, point taken: it's his hair, it should be his decision, but in this case I think this cut is the smarter move. 

Maxwell

Nate on the other hand, was pleased as punch, and looks like a peach. Truly. His sunglasses are now a bit large, and his hats are a little loose, but he is working it out. So mom of me to say, but I think they both look crazy handsome. Loves.

Nate 

After nearly four years of growing my hair, I also made the chop. I have to say, after the first cut, everything in my face and eyes looked right; like I recognized myself. Despite the appreciated cheers of my family and friends for my long (slow growing long) hair, it never really felt natural on my head. So now it's gone. And I feel better. Not to mention, this haircut promises the added bonus of not wearing a nest of bugs and twigs and birds in, what might have been, my dreaded hair this summer. 

Mom

6. 21. 14 All of the gear

Garden Street, Cambridge, MA

Before heading to my parents' house in Connecticut, where the boys will get haircuts from my brother, Steven (thanks!), and where we will celebrate the boys' summer birthdays (thanks!), we loaded up all of our gear (including items that I plan to send out for resupply stops) and walked throughout Cambridge. This doesn't sound like a big deal, but it provided such a sense of relief for me to see that a. the stuff all fit, b. none of us were carrying too much, and c. the boys actually liked the heavy walk. Nothing was packed properly or strategically, we just wanted to load up the weight. 

Our finish line was at Crema Cafe in Harvard Square, where we stopped for lunch, and then we headed over to EMS for a final backpack fitting. We have our boots, we have our multitools, we have zip locks bags and Tyvek and sandpaper and duct tape and tin foil pieces and clips and..I think we are all set.

Nateboots

Handsome Max

6. 19. 14 Less than a month away

I have much to write, many entries to update from the boys' journals and my own notes. I promise to post them all soon (workouts, and protein shakes and haircuts, and last days of school, and horsepackers and freakin out...lots of good stuff). For now, I am in mechanical mode. Playing with the camera helps. Dear Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts by Wolf Parade played in the background of this video, and is a favorite. I love that title. Shivers. Thanks Spencer Krug for your niceness.

6. 16. 14 Tommy and Leila [the lost blog!]

So I am reviewing our trip notes, as I prepare to finally write the end of our epic story, and look what I found! I KNEW I wrote this..and it doesn't even come close to paying proper homage. This is my original blog about Leila and Tommy. 

I met Leila while teaching pre-school, over a decade ago. She was a kind, enthusiastic and dedicated teacher, who really just emitted light. I always admired her optimistic yet honest approach to life, and it was a treat to work beside her.
Over the years, Leila has popped up in my grown up life. Although these reconnections always seemed random, I can't deny serendipity at play. I usually see  Leila when my chips are down,  life is turbulent and hope is threatened. And Leila sends relief. I am sure she doesn't think twice about these rescues, but for me, they are enormo. She helps, smiles, directs and reminds me that all problems can be solved; fears can be faced.
So listen to this:
Leila writes after I sent over our blog and life update, saying, "You have to meet my husband." Tommy has hiked the triple crown (which I'd never learned of, heard of or even dreamed I'd care about, before reading for this trip); Appalachian Trail- ,Pacific Crest Trail- , Colorado- . He is also a teacher, a father and a writer; devoting the same sincere thought, perception/ awareness and excitement for life that I imagine, drives him to hike these insane trails. He is a good person, which is no surprise, given his marriage to Leila.
They have two beautiful children, whom I met when they invited me to dinner and a hiking tutorial. Invaluable is all I can think to describe his help. He took a real interest in my plans and truly coached me; lending all that he has learned and loved on his amazing adventures. He walked me through the trail, addressed my fears, strategized an itinerary and combed through our gear. The fact that he didn't placate me, or discourage me at all, while being perfectly straight forward about our endeavor, brought me such relief. I didn't know Tommy at all, but suddenly felt like I had someone to help me (I have had so much encouragement, but Tommy provided the mentoring that I so needed). Additionally, both Leila and Tommy offered inspirational music and words, and my head and heart are eternally grateful to their help and friendship. Thank you family.
 

6. 9. 14 Camping

Hike with Sara and Yari

Thanks to our dear friends Yari and Sara, the boys and I were able to officially test out our gear and camp just south of Boston. Yari is a nature lover, and tries to hike and camp as much as his busy life allows. He has been a great supporter and is super enthusiastic about our impending adventure, which has won my gratitude and the hearts of both boys. Sara befriended me on a bike tour, makes me laugh and has held me up and supported me in all ways. She can pull off words like sluff. So these two are good eggs. They took us on, signed up to camp and off we all went on an overnight trip.

Sure the water did not need to be filtered and we had access to restrooms, but Max insisted on filtering the water and pooped in the woods. Yari built a fire with Max, and Nate read in the tent. We successfully set up camp and used our stove, our clothes line, headlamps and speaker all without a hitch. We also slept in the double sleeping bag together and without a pad. The hope here was to get a feel for how the boys might do both sleeping in a clump of people, as well as on a hard surface. Slept like logs. Is that right? Out like a log? Anyway, it went well. We will have sleeping pads for the trip, but knowing they can sleep well without, is useful. 

The next morning, we went for a short hike. I think this was our first really warm hike. The boys and I have been hiking through snow and ice, and had a few long walks in 65 degree weather, but this hike was a hot sun-humid air hike. The body shock and adjustment to climate and temperature bums me out, but helped with the cause and effect lesson learning. If you don't fill your water bottle, then you go without water. If you forget your hat, you will get sunburn. Lessons in the boys' real life tend to not hit as hard and fast, as they might in nature. 

There was crankiness, cooperation, thirst, complaining, raccoons, wet wood, gorgeous pond trees, ramen, hotdogs and marshmallow roasting, and music. I think it went ok.

6. 4. 14 Response

Today we heard from some of you. Here are a few favorites. We will take these and read them again and again on our walk. Thank you special people:

                                Walking In Beauty

                        Today I will walk out, today everything unnecessary will leave me.

                        I will be as I was before.  I will have a cool breeze over my body.

                        I will have a light body.  I will be happy forever.

                        Nothing will hinder me.

                        I walk with beauty before me.  I walk with beauty behind me.

                        I walk with beauty below me.  I walk with beauty above me.

                        I walk with beauty around me.  My words will be beautiful.

                        In beauty all day long may I walk.

                        Through the returning seasons may I walk.

                        On the trail marked with pollen may I walk.

                        With dew about my feet may I walk.

                        With beauty before me may I walk

                        With beauty behind me may I walk.

                        With beauty above me may I walk.

                        With beauty all around me may I walk.

Dear People, In beauty may you all walk.

Dear Nate, I am so proud of you.  You are on your way to realizing your goals.

Love, Judy

_____________________________________________________________

This was given to me at 20 years old and inspired me to travel and live life, with no regrets!  You guys will have a great trip together as a family. Remember, it's not about the place or how far you go but about the three of you and the fact that you went!  

Stay safe and make this the first of many journeys you take together.

AA

To be truly challenging, a voyage, like a life, must rest on a firm foundation of financial unrest. Otherwise, you are doomed to a routine traverse, the kind known to yachtsmen who play with their boats at sea... "cruising" it is called. Voyaging belongs to seamen, and to the wanderers of the world who cannot, or will not, fit in. If you are contemplating a voyage and you have the means, abandon the venture until your fortunes change. Only then will you know what the sea is all about.

"I've always wanted to sail to the south seas, but I can't afford it." What these men can't afford is not to go. They are enmeshed in the cancerous discipline of "security." And in the worship of security we fling our lives beneath the wheels of routine - and before we know it our lives are gone.

What does a man need - really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in - and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That's all - in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention for the sheer idiocy of the charade.

The years thunder by, The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.

Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?

In Passing-Sterling Hayden 1916-1986
― Sterling Hayden, Wanderer

5. 4. 14 Birthday

Danielle and Sara 

I don't really look forward to my birthday anymore, which sounds incredibly vain and old lady-ish of me, but I'm just saying it like it is. This year however I was surprised. An amazing group of people made me feel special, and not at all like I was a year older. They worked to plan a great night for me, completely caught me off guard and made me laugh until the early morning. After the dust settled, I was left with a collected gift from all of these shining peoples, to fund our trip. I expected none of this, and still do not know how to articulate exactly how this made me feel.

It made me feel. And for that alone, I just am so grateful. Lucky. Thanks.

You can see many of these hambones, in hats, on our thank you page.

5. 1. 14 The gym!

The gym. I have never wanted to join an indoor sweatbox of exercise more than I wanted to join a gym this winter. I had heard that an elliptical trainer might not hurt my foot and would imitate the benefits and form of running. It is no secret that a humongous part of the running bug for me lives in the emotional effects, the adrenaline rush and the joy in having a solid chunk of outdoor time to myself--even if it is frigid cold. It clears my head right out and lets me center. Well, since February, I have tried just about every form of exercise that won't kill my foot. Yoga and dance and weight lifting and running stairs and walking; none came close to the ease and efficiency of running. With a little begging, I finally scored a gym pass from work.

My first day at the gym, I was the girl who asked the person next-door, "How do you work this thing?"  Now I am a gym person.

Well, sort of.

I still close my eyes when I run on the elliptical, and pretend I am somewhere with wind. I have been rowing lately, and that swoosh! really helps to remove me from the gym walls. I will definitely try the real deal once the weather warms. Recently, I have been caught slowly panning around from bikeriders to stair masters to weight lifters to treadmillers, just taking in all the faces as they too, exercise earnestly in place. Most of these people are at the gym every day with me; 6:00a, 6:30a. They are total troopers and some are downright badass. But in my head, I play a funny animation, where I try to free them all from their gerbil wheels. "Be free!" I say. "Run free! Run in the rain, in the snow, and let the wind blow you down the street at superman speed! Run past people and over puddles, climb real stairs and fly so fast that no one will see what you are wearing or care to even look. Own the streets in a blur of panting and passing noise. Go, be free..unless, of course you are injured, like me." And that's when I close my eyes and appreciate that I have a place to go early in the morning or late at night, with a machine committed to keeping my foot steady.  Until I can break out into the breeze, thank you gym.

4. 13. 14 Buds

Buds after winter

Winter was a lifetime this year. Winter is usually rough, but we have been spoiled by at least two consecutive, mild winters in New England, so some new englanders had grown soft. Personally, I think it's safest to expect the worst and somewhat embrace the inevitable season. I can accept the hard of winter, but I do begin to lose patience if it continues deep into March, and even into April. No one should endure the bone cold, iced wind and snowy streets for more than 6 months, I think. This year, we had an April-Winter situation on our hands. The Winter was so bad, that I sort of can't even remember it! Gone with the 72 degree humidity.

And when the first signs of spring begin to show, the air tastes sunny, and magically, all is forgiven.

Spring dance

That is of course if spring is sunny. If the buds bring rain, and it's not sunny, we flow with the go and keep our winter coats out until June. Awesome recovery below.

3. 21. 14 EMS (Eastern Mountain Sports) by Nate

This was written during Nate's journal time, in school. This font doesn't do justice to the cuteness of the original piece. How 'bout this: I will not correct spelling errors as an attempt to preserve its littleboyness.

Me, Mom and Max (my bro) are going on the John Muir Trail this summer. We go to EMS (Eastern Mountain Sports). We go there to buy gear and to learn about the hike. We talked about bear canesters and camping food. A bear canester is a canester that you use for camping. And I'm pretty sure you know what camping food is..and if you don't know, it's food you use for camping. You need a bear canester because you need to put your food in it, and lock it so the bears can't open it. I kind of feel bad for the bears. I mean, there's this canester that they can't open, and they ceep on trying, and still they can't. We also got a two-person tent that can fit all of us. We have a head-camera and a double sleeping bag and two backpacks. Then we bought camping food. We have so many things. I love (heart) ems. The End

3. 12. 14 Cameras

The boys will be using Gopro cameras on the hike. This is a totally new concept and, obviously, super fun. Aside from gaining their shorter and sillier perspective (which is invaluable), I liked teaching them how to document. I hoped it might extend into a lesson in observation; understanding the world by looking in, as opposed to the egocentric eye of children. Another challenge is trying to grow comfortable in front of the camera. I explained the different ways we might use these cameras to tell a story and show what we see, and compared movie-making to writing narratives; using the first person and third person... Maybe it will all sink in as we go, but for now, the camera is just another hat, and you should hang on because these boys are shakin' and movin.'

2. 20. 14 Winter mountain climbing

Today began with snowball fights and building in the common. I walked my lame foot around the park while the boys tackled each other in the snow. We then chased each other and ran with high knees in and out of the trees until we were all beat. I promised that we would go mountain climbing, since the plows had piled such significant mounds of snow all around us. This is a physics mountain, sleeting snow coming down, and silly slides.