Day four I saw a flicker of small Max. Maxwell has not let me close enough to see this, for about four years now. I thought I was making it up or projecting a want on him, but I distinctly saw a sparkle when playing cards. A few slight movements, and progressively frequent eye contact, sort of uncovered my boy. Not unlike my last trip in the mountains, my world turns backward, I get a peek at myself and my boys, and then reality rewrites itself in a blink. Hmmm, let me try to describe this: without affecting real time, the present flattens like a photograph, rolls back, and is replaced with a four year old Maxwell moment that I had buried in the archives. He’s bottled energy, with excited eyes, and cannot stay still. His shoulders dance so slightly, and he flashes his long lashes right at me, like “I gotcha!” Then baby Max reels back around and our present play continues on without missed step. He’s everything I remember, and all I hoped he’d be
Max at Eklutna 2019
Max at Marblehead 2011